Twenty Twenty

How far we have come isn’t close to how far we can go.

Viola Davis

When we look back years from now at our past year, 2020, how will it be defined by you? For me, it will certainly go down as one of the weirdest and most painful years in my life. 2020 rolled in on us like a firestorm from hell and for me, it started early. I honestly thought, coming into the New Year, that 2020 was going to be full of some extremely exciting opportunities and lead to amazing accomplishments. I was very wrong!

How wrong could I have been?

Early into the year, I found my soul really grieving. I found myself asking question and searching for solutions. I struggled trying to make sense of things as I was coming to grips with a rapidly changing landscape, literally overnight. I spent many moments weeping and in pain. Better yet, I was simply pissed. This reality of life was becoming a recurring theme as the year progressed and my soul grieved more and more.

It all started during a mid-January meeting when I heard some very alarming information. Now understand, I admit that my attention span is relatively short. Sometimes during meetings, I find myself multi-tasking or having dialogue in my mind, plotting and planning the future. This meeting was no exception. There was a time in the meeting where I had briefly checked out, but I heard something that snapped me back. Now, I was not completely sure what I had just heard was accurate. So, I had to ask for a time out. Literally, hands in the air, “TIMEOUT...Coach is calling for a TIMEOUT!”

I asked for the committee member to repeat the last statement, so I could be sure. This time, he had my full attention, and I was in processing mode. This time, I stopped and listened attentively to determine if I just heard what I thought I heard, hoping I was wrong. I was not wrong. Yep, that is what I heard!

The committee member repeated his previous comment and stated that African American students, make up about 4% of the school district’s student population, yet they account for 43% of the district’s disciplinary removals, not including expulsions. All I could think was, “hold up, wait a freaking minute! That’s mathematically impossible.” I could not contemplate that this data could be correct. Again, I was wrong.

Still in shock, I asked for clarification. I learned further that African American students accounted for 48% of all out-of-school suspension placements, and they accounted for 38% of all in-school suspension placements. Remember, they are only 3.9% of the total student population. This was one district, but I learned later that the data is remarkably similar in other districts as well.

Houston, we have ourselves a problem!

The concern identified in this meeting negatively affecting African American children is a problem we as a community own collectively. As I learned more, I paused and prayed to God. I recognized that I had to do something about this! I also realized that this disparity mimics itself in many areas in our society today however, this is a conversation for another day.

By mid-March, we found ourselves in COVID-19 hell! Truthfully, the reality was as hot as hell and getting hotter every day! At the time of my writing this post, we recently lost three coworkers. More than 400,000 souls have been lost in the US and millions more worldwide. In March 2020, we found ourselves in a nationwide shutdown.

There were developing international and national travel restrictions, rampant mask mandates across the country from state to state, city to city, one business to the next. Going to the grocery store was quickly identified as an essential service. Grocery store employees were identified as “essential workers.” Where the hell did all the toilet paper, Lysol, and hand sanitizer go? Where in the hell do I get a mask? How in the heck did this happen? How did this happen in America?

Madeline Albright stated, “The Magic of America is that we’re a free and open society with a mixed population. Part of our security is our freedom.” America is supposed to be the land of the free! Ironically, we found ourselves in a situation of forced compliance. We found ourselves with empty grocery store shelves for the first time since when, the last world war? We were in a position where we were asked, in some cases, and forced in other cases, to shelter in place; only leaving our homes for emergencies.

This was not a big deal for me. Honestly, I am a shelter in place kind of guy. That is until you mandate that I do it! How could one of the most civilized countries in the world not be prepared for something like this? This was not supposed to happen here! I cried, “Dear God, how much more can we endure?”

And then... May 25, 2020! “My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!”

The words “I can’t breathe!” took on a whole new meaning. “Momma!” “Momma!” These words, spoken near the end the eight minute and fifteen second restraint, hurt some of us even more. Those words will forever be synonymous with the death of Mr. George Floyd. Listen, before I get too far, I am not debating police reform. I do believe in effective training and education. I do not believe in defunding. I do believe in funding community needs in addition to traditional law enforcement.

Let me be clear about this; I am a pro police guy. I have my local police Chief’s cell number. However, let me also be clear that, as black man, I am afraid of the police! Let me be clear on that as well. I get it. That may be difficult for some to comprehend but, that is the reality of my world and if you say you love or care for me, then it is worth trying to understand.

I do believe that Mr. Floyd’s death will be a very monumental event and a turning point in our history. It is very unfortunate that we had to have an awakening in this manner. Had it not been for this new stream of information sharing called social media, George Floyd’s death may have never received the attention it deserved? It is even more shameful that this was not an isolated incident in America. Listen, again, I am not here to debate this with anyone. George Floyd’s death and the many tragic events to follow took a lot out of me.

I was already hurting, confused, and wrestling with how I could use my platform for change. I pleaded with God. I was afraid of how much we were becoming such a divided nation. Divided on education, divided on the pandemic, and divided on the value of a person’s life! If all that was not enough, then comes the Presidential election! “Dear God, this is too much!”

I began to research on becoming a Canadian citizen. Just Kidding! If we were not already divided enough before the election, we surely became The Divided States of America during that unfortunate page of our history.

The phrases “don’t let a good crisis go to waste” and “this too shall pass” were truly relevant in 2020. What will we do in 2021 and beyond to take advantage of the many painful lessons we should have learned from 2020? We do not get to hop in a time capsule and rewind the clock. There is no reset button. What we have before us are opportunities to get things right and to be better than we were in 2020.

For me, getting it right and being better only happens through prayer. For us to bridge the divides we have unearthed will require much collaboration. Having conversations with those who are on opposite sides or who have opposing viewpoints will be difficult. We must listen to each other and seek to understand. Give and take will be critical. Taking responsibility for our actions will be essential. I do not have any control over anyone or anything other than me, so that is where I must start. Where will you start?